Feb
21
Posted on 21-02-2008
Bathroom Etiquette
Filed Under (Adventures) by Colleen

Okay…just to warn everyone, I really will be talking about the bathroom, and what folks do in the bathroom.  I know many of you are in denial about body functions (I know I was), but well, I just need to get this off my chest.  So if you’re squeamish, um, go away and check back in a day or two. 

I have a problem with some of the ladies that use the same ladies room as me at work.  We have 5 standard and 1 handicapped stall.  Now, prior to ever having children, I was like Finch from “American Pie”:  there was NO WAY that I was going to go #2 in any bathroom besides my own.  In fact, I didn’t even admit to anyone that I went poop, or had any idea of where poop came from.


But then I got pregnant, and as most of you moms know, all that fiber and such just moves through you, and with a munchkin hanging from your ribs and leaning on your bowels, there was no way I could wait several hours to go home to drop a deuce in peace and privacy.  After I had each of my kids, I realized that there was no going back to my old ways; not just because I was eating better, but also because after birthin’ two large babies, those butt muscles just aren’t what they used to be.  I’m sure I’ll need Depends by the time I’m 50.  But in the meantime, if I need to go poop while at work, I go down to the last regular stall next to the handicapped one so that I’m the farthest from the common areas of the bathroom (sinks, towels, door).  It never fails, though, that someone will come into the bathroom, where I am the only patron and will go into the stall right next to me.  Yes, they will pass up some three perfectly good, possibly less odorous, stalls just to do their own business next to me.  I have NEVER worked in a building or been in any other public bathroom setting where when there’s only a few ladies in a  large bathroom that they go in adjacent stalls unless they’re friends going there together.I also love when a lady is leaving the restroom and instead of just opening the doors and leaving nicely, they use the handicapped button to automatically open and HOLD OPEN both doors.  No one walking by would see anything besides women at the sink, but it still BUGS me to no end.What doesn’t bug me is NOT using the crinkly sani-seat covers.  I never mastered those things, and when I found out that I was a trillion times more likely to pick up some nasty disease from the handle/lock of the stall door than from the seat, I gave up on them.  However…weird, lazy-need-to-use-the-handicapped-doors girl once gave me a look for not grabbing a sani-seat cover on my way into a stall.  Conversely, each of the women I caught crowding my pooping space did not use a sani-seat cover, either.

Thankfully, any lady I’ve encountered in the washroom has washed her hands, which I guess is the really important thing.

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Comments

Justin on 22 February, 2008 at 8:46 am #

If anyone has questions about proper Etiquette, may I recommend http://www.icbe.org/. :D


Madame Queen on 22 February, 2008 at 9:08 am #

Girl, you crack me up! Yes, the most important thing is that they wash their hands.


Burgh Baby's Mom on 22 February, 2008 at 1:49 pm #

Those crinkly paper things irritate the poop out of me, especially when people leave them sitting on the seat when they are done. If you don’t want your toushie to be where my toushie has been, despite the fact that my toushie is sparkling clean and contained in my pants most of the day, why would I want to touch that paper that has touched your toushie AND your hands, which have not been contained in pants? In fact, your hands are far grosser than the seat, so now I’m just plain grossed out about your paper issues. Gah!

Sorry, I’ll stop now.


Zookepper on 22 February, 2008 at 8:51 pm #

I have always wondered why people need to use the stall right next to you when you are the only one in there…we have 4 regs and one handicapped and that always happens. Some people are partial to the handicapped stall…so if I’m first in, I choose the 3rd regular because then I’m smack in the middle. Gotta wonder why the other person doesn’t feel all weird being all up in your space in the next stall?! Glad other people feel this way…but I’m sure the mystery will never be solved.


Flea on 22 February, 2008 at 10:45 pm #

So many people have blogged or commented about their bathroom phobias! I was beginning to think I was the only woman left in the world who could go in any restroom any time. And who doesn’t use those stupid seat covers. Knicker bocker please. But hand washing? EVERY TIME.


Tootsie Farklepants on 24 February, 2008 at 2:22 am #

Yeah, I don’t use those things either. Because I spend so much time trying to get the bastard to stay on ‘just so’ that I figure I’m touching the seat WITH MY HANDS way too much.


Jennifer on 24 February, 2008 at 11:22 am #

I stopped worrying what people think. I have IBS and when I have to go, I have to go, there’s no waiting. I agree handwashing is more important that the toilet seat covers.


Karen on 24 February, 2008 at 1:15 pm #

I am SO glad that I’m not the only human out there that realizes that paper on toilet seats will not save the planet. Or me, for that matter. My cheeks and legs touch the seat, people. They do not carry diseases or bodily fluids.


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