Wine Please

Technically, he was 8 months yesterday.  But in my zeal to appeal to Metro for mass transportation, I forgot until like 5pm.  Yep, bad mama.  I can tell you that besides saying “Da-da-da-da” and “Ba-ba-ba-ba” since January, he has added in “ma-ma-ma-ma-ma” and “na-na-na-na” in the last two weeks.  He has also perfected his motorboat buzz, using either his tongue or buzzing his lips.  But now, without any further ado, I give you the Birthday Boy in all of his 8-months splendor!

Look at Mommy!




Mommy’s over here! Look! Look!




yay! wait. *sigh*




there we go! weeeee!




There’s the birthday boy, standing almost on his own. And with crazy bath hair.

This is something I’ve been meaning to write for a few weeks.  I just wanted to congratulate Virginia for only assaulting seven (7) Metrobus drivers in 2007.  This compared to twenty-one (21) drivers assaulted in Maryland and fifty-six (56…yes, 5-6) assaults in our nation’s lovely capital.  According to this article there were a total of 84 assaults on Metrobus drivers in 2007…an all-time high.  This would be hitting with an open hand, hitting with objects (sticks, bricks, etc.), punching, spitting, guns, knives, and attempts to fondle and/or undress the driver.  All I can think is WTH?!?!?  At least I can say that none of those 7 occurred in my county…since we don’t really have mass transportation in my county despite the fact that we are still one of the fastest growing counties in the nation (like in the top-10 or so).  If the Metrobus was extended out to my county, we would be hugging the drivers, bringing them coffee and treats because we might finally be about to save a little gas money by taking the bus.

So do ya hear me, Metrobus and Metrotrain???  Bring your buses and trains to PW county and we will love you and hug you and appreciate you, and beat-down anyone who attempts to assault your bus and train operators!   We’re only about 15 miles away from your most western bus line.  And if you brought the Metrotrain out to Ma-Nasty, you know you’d have nearly half the residents in Ma-Nasty and Western PW county take days off work to come help build the rail line…that would make those 20 miles of rail go really quick!  Really!  We promise!  Pullleeeeeeaaaaaaasssssssssseeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

Can you tell I’m tired of paying nearly $40 every week to fill up my little car?  Don’t even ask Justin how much he paid to fill-up the truck…I nearly crapped myself and no need to nearly make some of you gentle readers crap-or-almost-crap yourselves.

It seems that Target and Starbucks are attempting World Domination.  Or at least the Yuppie-Part-of-Town Domination.  Up until Sunday, we had two area Target stores, both about 5 miles from my house.  There was the old crappy one attached to the mall, kind of cool in itself, but it’s not managed well and the clientele (and pseudo-clientele) are a bit, well…it just looks crappy.  Plus, it is only a Target Greatland.  Then they built the new Super Target 5 miles north of me.  It opened maybe 3 years ago.  Nice, clean, well-kept, and it has a Starbucks inside.  If they were really smart, they’d pass out free or discounted Starbucks to all the shoppers, much like you can get free or really-cheap drinks at the casinos in Las Vegas.  But I digress.

So we have New Target.  And we shop it all the time and avoid the Dirty Target like the plague.  I will even pass up Dirty Target to get prescriptions filled at New Target.  Dirty Target is located in “Ma-Nasty” and has dirty men walking around leering and muttering at the ladies in the store…these men are not shopping.  They also do not work there.  Nor do they seem to have jobs anywhere else.  New Target doesn’t have that kind of riff-raff…and um, it’s also not along the local bus line.

Well, this Sunday, they opened The Best Target In The World about three miles from me.  At first, I was a little skeptical of another Target.  But then I went there last night and was there for nearly 90 minutes, just in awe of the wider aisles, the lovely easier-to-maneuver carts, the even MORE aisles of product that I don’t really need to buy but think I gotta have, and another Starbucks…which brings me to my next point:  We now have approximately 8 Starbucks within a 5-mile radius of my house…three of them within.the.same.shopping.center. 

click to see my beautiful powerpoint skills
Yesterday I took the day off to get my annual check-up, and figured I’d throw in a facial since I got gift cards for my birthday for the spa, and get my hair cut, since it was looking pretty ragged and the color in sorry shape (as you may see here).  So I get up, get showered and ready, and head out just in time to stop at the first Starbucks near my house to try their new Honey Latte before the doctor’s office (ahem, doctor office #2 for those of you using the handy-dandy map).  I walk into the grocery store and see a nice little sign on the Starbucks counter indicating that they are unable to do any espresso drinks.  WTH????Well, now I don’t have enough time to stop at any of the three other Starbucks on my way to the doctor’s office because of the way that shopping center is set up for parking and where the Starbucks are located, etc.  So I grumble that they should have a large sign posted outside the grocery store so that I didn’t waste my time parking and walking in the building.I get to the doctor’s office at 10am for my 10:15am check-up.  I sit in the waiting room until 10:30am.  Then I sit half-nekkid in the exam room until 11am.  Just about the time I was going to step out of my room in that cute little piece of cloth they like to call a robe to holler for some service, the nurse practitioner comes in, does her exam, answers my questions, and walks out less than 10 minutes later.  I get dressed, wait all day to check-out (not sure why since I didn’t need to pay or make another appointment) and run-out because it’s now 11:20am and my facial is at 11:30am way out in Ma-nasty.  I arrive just at 11:30am, apologizing profusely.  My aesthetician pats me, loves me, hands me a cup of something that passes as coffee and instructs me to take a breath because I am there to RELAX!  I almost hugged her.

An hour later I am exfoliated, hydrated, dewy and relaxed.  I get passed off to my stylist for my haircut a little late (pics will be coming later on), and walk out of there at 2:30pm with nicer color and fancier cut, and a huge hunger!  Man, I was starving!  I still had errands to run and the only Starbucks in Ma-Nasty is in the opposite direction of my errands, so I just fulfill my entire week’s worth of calories with a Big Mac and some Sweet Tea.  Then I get my errands done, pick up the kids from daycare, run back to pick up Justin so we can get the truck from the shop (just preventive maintenance), get back home about 5pm…just in time to prepare dinner, eat, get the kids to bed and wonder where the day went.  I realize I have a couple hours to run to check out the new Target and head on out there at nearly 8:30pm.  I shop around for a bit before running over to the grocery area to pick up the few things we actually NEED (versus the rest of the items in my cart).  I spot the Starbucks and rush over, thinking a nice decaf Honey Latte might be a yummy nightcap.  Nope.  It was already 9pm.  What???  I just walked in the door?  How can I have lost some 45 minutes??? 

So I go home, defeated in my quest for a Honey Latte.  I make Justin ooh-and-awww over my purchases, and vow to pick up a coffee the following morning before work.

I wake up this morning, get ready, get Cooper ready, try to feed him (no-go, since he decided to eat at 4:45am), smile at the clock as I start making my lunch.  Suddenly I hear a suspicious grunt from Cooper.  Yep…the Poop Grunt, complete with the Poop Grin.  I sigh, pour a cup of coffee into a travel mug, then change the poopie baby.

I get to work, get on a ton of conference calls, then at 3pm, I run out to the Starbucks to get a freakin’ Honey Latte.  I get in there, smell the calming smells of the coffee shop, place my order, and nearly wiggle in anticipation.  Then I spy this guy…yeah, the guy with dreads and boots at the Safeway the other week who was in the chip aisle when I finally found my Buffalo Bleu chips.  He keeps showing up anytime I get a treat I really really really want!!!  I think I’m going to fold him up and put him in my pocket so that I can pull him out to magically bless me with whatever snacks I want!

Oh, and the Honey Latte?  TOTALLY worth all the trouble!  Way yummy.  *happy sigh*

for those of you keeping track, that was my third Starbucks before I could successfully  get that drink–and it wasn’t one of the eight located near my house.

Well, what do you know…there are a few people who used Google to come see me!  Probably not on purpose, I’m guessing, but they came just the same.

I don’t have a huge volume, but they’re still kind of funny…here they are in no particular order:

• breastfeeding and wine or wine and breastfeeding  (I know I did both!)
• daddy suck or suck daddy  (I don’t even want to know!!!)
• bad ignition coil (hey, that stupid car is finally good for something…brought 2 people here!)
• boob saver (does Tupperware make that???)
• great breast pics (hmmm…won’t see any here…helps to have great breasts first)
• pictures of femoral rodding (yep, that dog’s costly surgery also brought in a couple visitors!)

So that’s it. 

The only other interesting thing is that I’ve gone and resurrected my old jewelry page so that I could start drumming up some business again.  It’s kinda cool since there’s an online catalog.  So take a peek ovah dere———————-> and let me know if there’s something you want!  Anyone who wants something will get 15% off their order…just contact me via email (or that “Contact Me” link above), tell me what items you want and that you want your bloggy discount!