I did go out briefly. But only for about 2-1/2 hours.

Today was Justin’s company picnic. I look forward to it every year because they do have a nice picnic…rent a pavillion, grill, play softball games, and the place where they go each year includes a water park. I couldn’t go last year because Cooper was just over a week old, so I was not up to sitting in 90+ degree heat with a newborn and post-partum heat-flashes.

This year I was all about it. I even made sure I had a suitable bathing suit…nothing too matronly since I try to be hip, but nothing that might get Justin fired because it got yanked off by one of my kids while playing in the waterpark.

But Cooper has had diarrhea all week. Mild, but still not suitable for public pool situations. And he’s been fussy, so since the pediatrician still saw fluid behind both his ears on Monday (leftover from his ear infection last month), I thought I’d best bring him in this morning to ensure it hadn’t gotten ugly again.

It had.

So since he was already banned from the pool due to the poops, the ear kind of cinched it that I would not be going at all. Which is just as well since Justin and Gavin left for the picnic shortly after I left for the doctor’s office.

Tonight was also the dinner for a friend’s upcoming birthday, so I had a babysitter coming at 5pm. Justin was supposed to drop Gavin by around the same time (or so I thought) and go on to the Rush concert with the Alaskan students he’s been playing ambassador to all week. By 5:20, no Gavin. And no responses to my calls or voicemails to Justin’s phone.

I go to dinner…play fifth wheel to my friends, and have a couple margaritas with my yummy dinner. Uninterrupted dinner. Well, besides when I called Justin two or three more times, and called the babysitter wondering if my eldest child ever showed up.

He hadn’t.

I finish my dinner, socialize a little more, and arrive home a little after 8pm. The house is completely quiet and the babysitter informs me that Gavin just went to bed…literally passed out from all the water and sun and fun he had today. He’d only gotten home an hour prior. I thank her, pay her, try calling Justin again, then started pouring myself some cosmos.

And since I didn’t have anywhere else to go and no husband to impress, I went from this:

including these:

and exchanged it for this (including swapping out my saucy butt-floss for some saggy maternity undies):

I know. Don’t say it. I am one sexy beast in my ratty t-shirt and old strawberry pj pants.