In light of Sarcastic Mom’s Breastfeeding Carnival, I’m offering up the link to my BF’ing story for anyone who’d like to read it again or for anyone who missed it.
As a follow up, I continued to pump 2-3 times per day at work until January. By then I was tired of going into a tiny, dark, freezing-cold room to get half-undressed and pump…and pray that I might get 6 or 8 total ounces (yes…I’d pump three times and would go home at the end of the day with usually 6 ounces…sometimes a tiny bit more). By then, Cooper was drinking about 5 ounces per bottle, so I gave him 1 breastmilk and 3 formula bottles. Whatever overage I had would go in the freezer.
In January I dropped to pumping once a day for about a week and had little-to-no-engorgement. We used up the excess milk in the freezer in a few short days, and then I gave up pumping altogether right before his 6-month birthday. I still nursed him first thing in the morning and at the end of the night. Most of the time I really enjoyed that time I had with him…a nice snuggle and his little hands patting me or playing with my hair while he ate. And since I had about 12 hours in-between feedings, my body had enough time to refill the old boobs, so I didn’t have to give him any supplemental bottles afterwards. On the mornings I was running behind, though, I wished I could get Justin to feed him for me. But I carried on because, well, those hormones did keep me extra calm in the mornings at work and at the end of the day before bed (man, do I miss those! anti-anxiety drugs have nothing on the hormone oxytocin!).
On Cooper’s 7-month birthday in February, I decided to replace the morning feeding with a bottle and just nursed him at night. Wow! Those first 3 days were uncomfortable! But my body adjusted and nursing him at night was a great way to end our hectic days. Then came the flu. Now, Cooper had one of his flu shots in January and was due for his second one in February  but he got sick before I could call to find out that they were out anyways (plus that whole thing that we had a few more strains running around than what the vaccine covered).  Even though the flu test came back negative, the doctor still thought it was the flu–explained that you can get a false-negative if you test too early after coming down with symptoms. Well, poor baby didn’t have a runny nose as much as compacted snot and gunk up in his upper-nasal-area (read: out of reach of the snot-sucker), so he actually had more trouble breathing than if he had snot running down his face. This made nursing a lot harder than the bottle because it took a lot more effort…so he’d take a sip, gasp for air, take another sip, gasp for air again, and then cry hysterically because he’s hungry but he can’t breathe enough to eat efficiently. Lather, rinse, repeat. I finally gave him a bottle and he was able to drink quite a bit more before gasping for air…he still fussed, but wasn’t getting as frustrated. Once he had a little to eat, I tried nursing him again, but same scenario. So I gave the bottle back and cried because I was really hoping that when I weaned him, it wouldn’t include shrieking, renting of garments, and gnashing of teeth gums.
I tried again the next night, but my milk already dried-up on the poorly-performing side, and seemingly had very little on the better-performing breast…and he was still congested and couldn’t breathe, so we had a rehash of the night before with the screaming and attempts to eat followed by more screaming and both of us crying.
But now? He’s great. Like I said, I miss the snuggles and closeness, and the warm-and-fuzzies I got from the hormones, but he’s happy. I’m just not happy with my formula bill!

Thought I would document some of the more interesting things I’ve experienced or done while breastfeeding: positive, negative, and just plain weird (and I could give you a whole run-on about the relativity of weirdness, but we’ll save that for another day, or at least until I can properly give credit the to guy I first heard it from).

1. I panic easily while pumping…maybe it’s the  fact that I feel so naked and weird and vulnerable, but I do freak out a lot more than I might if I was just sitting there nursing Cooper.  Case-in-point, the day before I started back to work, I dropped Cooper off at daycare for a few hours so I could get a few things done at home and so he could get a small taste of daycare.  Of course I had to pump while he was gone.  Well, while I was sitting there pumping, our power went out (yeah, we seem to be on a very touchy electric infrastructure).  Since we have so much computer equipment in the house, we have all these back-up batteries…and they all beep loudly once the power is out so that you know you have a few precious minutes to save and shut things down properly before the battery goes out.  So power goes out, I freak a little (”omigosh, this is SOO going to mess up my supply if I can’t properly pump and get all the milk out so that these silly boobs know to fill back up….”), then get annoyed at all the incessant beeping and throw on a robe over myself, with the breast shields and collection cups still attached to me, to run around to shut down all the machines in the house.  I get my desktop and our printer shut down fine, then I run down to the basement to mess with Justin’s desktop and our server.  I stupidly bend over the server to reach something (maybe the external hard drive?  I’m not even sure now…) and I manage to splash some of that precious milk onto the basement floor, just narrowly missing the computer equipment itself.  And of course, instead of stopping, removing the equipment attached to me, I instead just bent at the knee to turn off Justin’s computer equipment.
2. I realized that we are not that far removed from the animal kingdom.  When Cooper was about 3 or 4 weeks old, I was trying to unlatch him from me to switch sides while nursing him and he GROWLED at me. 
3. I consider myself of at least average intelligence (maybe even a little above?).  When I’m faced with something new, I usually start researching it to the N^th degree so that I am as prepared as I can possibly be.  When I was pregnant with Gavin, I read a lot of pregnancy books, articles, and websites.  Like many expecting women, I was obsessed with finding out every minute detail about pregnancy, delivery, birth, and even read “What to Expect the First Year” when I was still only 6 or 7 months pregnant.  We took a great birthing class that also had the benefit of breastfeeding basics (the instructor was an RN and lactation consultant and had several children…she was fabulous…I still have her business card!).  But nothing I came across (or since, now that I think of it) prepared me for this:  unlike a baby bottle nipple, or even seemingly a cow’s udder (I do not pretend to know the ways of farm animals…just what I see in cartoons), human milk has SEVERAL points of exit.  Yep, I thought that the milk would come out of one little lacta-duct (if you will).  Imagine my surprise the first time I saw about 3 or 4 mini-streams of milk…I actually freaked out a bit (albeit, I was pumping, and we have already established that I am a weird weird person while pumping).  So other breastfeeding newbies out there, consider yourself EDUCATED!
4. Both of my boys latched on perfectly the first time I fed them during the first hour of each of their lives.  It was amazing and wonderful, and a little too easy.  And I can hear the gnashing of teeth of other mothers out there who had tons of latching-on issues…sorry.  It’s probably my only easy part to nursing.
5. I should’ve known that when my nurse at the hospital had to interrupt Cooper eating that first hour (well, he ate well into the 2nd hour of his life), that he would be a big, slow eater.
6. In the continuing saga of Colleen is a Pumping Freak, I spilled breastmilk on my pants and chair while pumping at work the other day because I underestimated how much I might express at the end of the day…which leads me to my new understanding that breastmilk can stain fabrics.  I was able to successfully get the breastmilk out of my pants, but the chair was not so lucky, probably because the chair did not have the advantage of Shout laundry spray and a good run through the washer with Dreft baby detergent.
7. Thrush.  To many in the breastfeeding community, that one word will bring cold shivers to your spine, and maybe even one or two of you may have gasped audibly.  To those of you lucky enough to never have encountered thrush, let me just tell you…I personally rank it as more painful than childbirth.  The reason I do so is because the pain of childbirth is excruciating, but there is generally a happy ending…once you pop that baby out, the sharp intense pain is gone (for the most part) and you have this joyous celebration of life.  With thrush, you have excruciating pain every single time you feed your baby…and babies nurse every 2-3 hours when they’re really young (or are piggy-eaters like Cooper).  The pain I experienced made me wish I had an epidural for my boobs.  I bit on my lip to keep from screaming in pain (didn’t want to make eating a negative experience for Cooper), and often bit so hard to prevent the screaming that I drew blood.  Then the skin on your nipples is so sensitive and ravaged by the infection that just feeding your baby for a few minutes can draw blood as well.  It got to the point where I would start crying before nursing Cooper because the anticipation of such awful pain was more than my post-partum body/mind could handle.  I finally stopped nursing him and pumped instead for nearly a week until my thrush was under control.  The best part was that I got a second run of it three weeks after the first time…this time I was able to procure a more aggressive medicinal approach (and caught it earlier) and wiped that nastiness out quicker.
8. Cooper is a really chubby baby, which is a totally foreign concept to me since Gavin was such a string-bean by the time he was 3 months old, and Justin and I are hardly big people (nor were we big babies or children).  I believe it’s because my breastmilk is a good 33% fat!  I know this because nearly a third of all my pumped breastmilk is fat floating on top (well, you can see this once it’s been chilled).  Sometimes it’s even more than that!
9. Cooper is an extremely demanding infant when he’s hungry; conversely, once he’s been fed, he’s very content.  But the difference between when he’s had a bottle of formula and when he’s had a bottle of breastmilk is like night and day.  After formula, he’s happy and smiley.  After breastmilk, he’s like what we call “milk-drunk”…so deliriously happy that he looks and even acts a little drunk.Maybe it’s because breastmilk is really sweet.  I mean, formula is sweet with a slight metallic aftertaste, but breastmilk is really sweet, kind of like the difference between regular milk and lactose-free milk…you’d swear there was a good tablespoon of sugar in there.
10. Nursing really does help you lose weight quicker.  When I came home from the hospital, I still had about 25 extra pounds on me.  Now that Cooper is nearly 4 months old, I only have 5 lbs left to lose.  Granted, I’ve been blessed with thin genes, but I’m pretty certain that if I wasn’t nursing, I’d probably still have a good 15 or so to lose.  Plus, I’ve seen it on other friends who nursed (and didn’t nurse) their babies.  It probably helped that I stopped eating like I was pregnant, too (hello, nearly 40lb weight-gain!).
11. Your milk supply is nothing to play with, at least in my case where mine is so ridiculously sensitive.  Babies are the most efficient emptiers of the breast, so that’s why La Leche League is so crazy about making sure you nurse nurse nurse your baby.  But for those of us who need, or want, to work, a good breastpump is a good investment.  Some women rent them, since well, what else are you going to use that thing for once you’ve stopped nursing?  Suction water off your shower walls?  But rental prices can really stack up if you’re doing it for more than 2 or 3 months…by that time, you could’ve bought a Playtex Double Embrace (hospital-grade, closed system like a hospital rental, soft massaging cups–no need to try to find a breast cup that fits, price includes a nice bag with tons of accessories, and WONDERFUL customer service…I know it’s a shameless plug, but I REALLY love my pump), or even the Medela Pump In Style line, which a lot of other moms out there use.  They seem expensive (usually starting around $200 or more), but they are WELL worth it.  Plus your hands don’t get tired from using a manual pump!  And in my case, pumping has the added bonus of making me a complete spaz, much to the delight and entertainment of others.
12. Breastfeeding your baby in public is interesting.  I’m still a bit shy about it, but I did it a LOT more when I was still home with Cooper and was anxious to get out of the house and interact with adults, which meant that I did it at restaurants a lot, usually while I was eating, too, which is how I dropped food on his face.  I’m a great mama, huh?
13. And my last freak-pump experience (although probably far from my last) was when I totally forgot the white valves for the breastcups on my pump (#8 on this picture).  Without them, the pump doesn’t actually create suction and doesn’t work.  So I go flying out of my dark little breastpumping office and drive 20 minutes to the Babies R Us, praying that they carry them.  Nope.  So I had to drive another 25 minutes away back home to pick up the little buggers, drive all the way back to work, and then still needed to pump.  Needless to say, I haven’t forgotten the valves again and I managed to store the extra two valves in my little accessory bag with my pump in case I do forget the others at home again.

Stay tuned for next week when I deliver 13 things I never thought I’d hear/say/experience as a mother.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

In honor of today, the Great Breast Fest, or the Virtual Nurse-In, I have posted a ridiculously conservative photo of me nursing my nearly-3-month old.  I wish I was bolder, but I’m not.  But I TOTALLY believe if there are women out there that are comfortable nearly flashing their nips in an attempt to help bring more awareness to all the close-minded freaks at Facebook who are deleting images and accounts of women who have posted their breastfeeding pictures, then they should (and should be allowed to) do so.  The worst part, it sounds like Facebook is even doing it to women who have posted pictures like mine, where no breast is actually exposed (unless you look REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYY close, you can see a sliver….whoa!  nakedness!  bring on the prudes!).

So breastfeeding women (and all the non-breastfeeding supporters) unite!  Flash a little or a lot of baby-feedin’!  Why should we be made ashamed to feed our babies?  That’s like hiding a cow that’s nursing her calf from kids at the farm, or hiding the big mama gorilla nursing her baby at the zoo.  It’s natural and should be viewed as such.

Now I can totally understand non-breastfeeders (men, women who chose for whatever reason to not breastfeed, anyone without children who don’t understand, children, etc.) feeling a little uncomfortable with women who will just whip it out and feed their kid (especially if that child doesn’t really latch on, so there’s a LOT of boob getting flapped around).  You are witnessing someone’s partial nakedness, and you’re witnessing a beautiful bond between mom and baby (or toddler, which even I still feel a little funny about…please don’t kill me LaLeche Leaguers!).  But would you ban the woman from wherever you are?  Prevent her from eating at the restaurant?  Kick her out of the store?  No.  You’d probably just advert your eyes, blush a little, maybe a nervous smile.  So why folks on Facebook (supposedly an adult site…and by adult, I don’t mean ADULT XXX, I mean, a slightly more mature/older community site) can’t just smile and avert their eyes is beyond me.  As it is, I’m one of those women who will actually feed her child in public, but under a light blanket.  As he’s gotten older and more interested in his surroundings, Cooper has gotten a bit more annoying curious and will pop off and on while eating so that he can take a quick break and look around.  As you can imagine, that is (1) not terribly comfortable, and (2) not terribly modest.  So the blanket helps block out distractions and also preserves the little bit of modesty that I am trying to maintain…and that’s modesty about my breast (yes, LaLeche Leaguers, I know it’s my son’s meal, but it’s still my nekid-boobie!) and my funny flabby post-baby belly.  Actually I’m more worried about flashing that crazy, deflated-balloon-looking belly than my breast, but I wouldn’t mind keeping my breasts mostly to myself.

So please, if you feel that women should be allowed to post their breastfeeding photos, breastfeed in public (which they are protected by law in many states), then post your pics and dump your Facebook site (nudge nudge, Justin).

Now for some musings and/or journal entries on breastfeeding:

• I only breastfed Gavin for 6 weeks because I was having a major supply problem…by a week old, I was already needing to give him a bottle following every feeding.  I couldn’t seem to get anywhere pumping milk, so I weaned him by the time I went back to work at 7 weeks.  I felt guilty, but a little relieved.  Now he wasn’t freaking out because he was still hungry and I wasn’t dying of guilt and shame because my body couldn’t figure out how to feed by baby.  I swore I would try harder with the next baby…read up on stuff, etc.

• Friends whom I never thought would even have children went and had babies, and then breastfed them for several months…that also inspired me to try harder.

• I read about Fenugreek, a supplement that is supposed to help increase your milk supply.

• I read about other ways of keeping up your supply (pumping after feeding baby to signal to brain “more milk, please”; not skipping any feedings, if possible; try to squeeze in a pumping session after baby is down for the night; pump as many times at work as you would normally be feeding your baby, etc.).

• So Cooper the Hoover Power-Vac was born (I thought about naming him Dyson, but it turns out there was another baby boy born the same day in our hospital who was legally named Dyson….wonder if his mama’s boobs were as sore as mine!) and I nursed him like a champ!  And nursed him, and nursed him, and doggone-it that-kid-is-eating-again nursed him.

• Since I failed my GBS (Group B Strep) test, I was given a LOT of antibiotics…so I developed a raging complete-body yeast infection that culminated in Thrush, the most amazingly painful thing I have ever encountered in my life (and I’ve delivered two 8+Pound babies).   I even lost skin on my breasts from the infection and bled…to not only painful, but terrifying, too.  But I trudged on by pumping (thanks to my mom for buying my Playtex Double Embrace pump!…I love it…it has been a life (boob) saver!) and giving Cooper bottles so that I could heal enough to feed him at the breast again.

• Around 5 weeks of age, Cooper started eating way more than I could seemingly provide for him (didn’t help he hit a growth spurt and was eating every 2 hours), and I had a re-emergence of the dreaded Thrush (although since I recognized it right away, I nipped it in the bud before I was biting my tongue to keep from screaming while feeding Cooper).  This is also when I was put on Reglan…and OMG!  It was so wonderful to be able to feed my baby and not need to provide a follow-up bottle for him!  Then I was able to sufficiently provide for his nutritional needs in 20 minutes every 2 hours instead of 45 minutes every 2 hours (I let him empty each breast and then STILL had to give him a bottle–and he was colicky–totally exhausting!)

• After I finished my Reglan, Cooper was done with his growth spurt, so it seemed I was doing alright keeping up with his hunger…I usually only needed 2 ounces of formula per day to supplement his last feeding before bed.  But then I started work.

• While I’m at work, I pump 3 times per day (sometimes 2 if my schedule gets crazy), and without the Reglan, I was lucky to get 6 ounces TOTAL…and this is with a hospital-grade pump (Cooper actually eats 4 times in the time that he’s at daycare…so he gets 2 milk and 2 formula bottles). 

• So I called my doctor and begged to have the Reglan again…whoo!  up to about 10 ounces total per day!  Still kept Cooper on 2 milk bottles and 2 formula bottles and froze any extra milk.

• Ran out of Reglan and expected it to be like before…some lingering residual boobie boost where I might not get 10 ounces, but maybe 8…nope.  Within 1 day of being off the Reglan, I was only getting 5 and 6 ounces total again.  So depressing…so I called my doctor again.

• By the way, I’m on so much Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle that I smell like a giant, white,  Aunt Jamima.  I also eat oatmeal nearly every day, and drink a crap-load of fluids.  I am doing all the anecdotal things…

• So the doctor put me on my ‘final’ bout of Reglan and instructed me that I need to call an LC.  I called the LC and told her my tale…she pretty much said, “wow…you actually have a real supply problem because you are doing all that you can and still aren’t getting the results.  Wish some of my other patients were as dedicated.”  She also told me that since the doctor wasn’t keen on giving me any more Reglan, to maybe change my thinking from “I can’t pump enough to feed my baby” to “My baby is eating all I can pump” so that it’s mroe positive and less upsetting.  Nope….not working.

• I cried myself silly all the way home and all the way to the store to pick up my prescription of Reglan.  As an experiment, instead of ramping up to 3-10mg doses per day, I’ve kept it at 2-10mg doses per day and am getting the same results.  At least I have been able to stretch out my medicine.  Once it’s gone, however, I think I might just freak out a bit again…then maybe scale back to only feeding him in the mornings and at night (but of course, with my sensitive supply, I will still need to pump during the day so that my dumb boobs will make sure there’s milk for him at night). 

• I really wanted to go for 6 months, and I’m scared that my body won’t let me nurse him for even 4 months.  I mean, I know I tried, and I have nothing against formula (except smellier poop!), but I really wanted to do the best I could since I copped-out early last time around.  Any other suggestions out there?

So there’s my breastfeeding story.

On a totally unrelated note…happy birthday to my friend, Sany…don’t think I will make the party, bud (too old, too married, too breastfeeding), but wanted to wish you a great day just the same.  Also, happy birthday to Mrs. Sneaky at Precarious Tomato (hope she doesn’t think I’m too weird…but I like birthdays and recognizing others for their birthdays).