Keep Your Clothes On

I have come to the conclusion that I can no longer be naked in front of Gavin.

I actually should’ve decided and acted on this about a year ago. I was very pregnant and Gavin was just 3 years old. Usually if I was the only one home with Gavin, I would wait until he took a nap to squeeze in a shower because I couldn’t quite trust him to stay put in front of the TV, particularly if I had to shave (which was a really lengthy process when trying to find your legs somewhere under a big ol’ belly). So on this particular day, he’s sleeping and I jump in the shower. I’m about half done and he comes in the bathroom. I just want to finish my shower with out worrying about what he’s getting into, so I ask him if he wants to come in the shower with me and open the shower door.
G: yucky! (he points just under my belly, towards my crotch)
I look down, but of course can only see this massive belly:

Me: what do you mean “yucky”, buddy?
G: poopie! (he points at my crotch again)
Me: what do you mean “poopie?!” (craning neck to see around my belly and to look on the shower floor to see if my water broke or if I was bleeding or if I lost control of my bowels. Nope.)
G: yucky poopie, mommy. need wipe. (continuing to point at my crotch, this time a little closer)
I look around the massive belly and see he is pointing at my pubic hair! He thinks the wet hair is poop! I start laughing so hard I slip and nearly fall in the shower, which gets me laughing harder. Not knowing what I’m laughing at, Gavin leaves the bathroom to go play trains.
That was a year ago. Since then I’ve been in front of Gavin in various states of undress and he’s not said anything. When nursing Cooper, he once asked what I was doing. I answered simply, “I’m feeding Cooper. Cooper is eating.” Content with that answer, Gavin went back playing. Periodically if he was paying attention to me and/or Cooper, he’d point out that “Cooper eatin'” anytime I was nursing him. But he never seemed to notice that my shirt was half-off, or if he was in our room while I was getting ready in the morning, he never said anything.
That all changed Monday morning. I had just gotten out of the shower and Gavin came in and was talking to me as I dried off. Out of nowhere, he points at my crotch.
G: whas dis?
Me: uh, hair.
G: (eyes me suspiciously, looks at the hair on my head, then back at my crotch) dats hair??
Me: yes. hair.
G: (pointing at my boob) whas dis, mommy? you have red on you belly?
Me: that’s mommy’s breast.
G: mommy’s bwest?
Me: yes. now go play find daddy and play with your toys. out. wrap towel around body and ushers Gavin out of the bathroom.

Any of you have any good stories of your child discovering your nakedness?

About the Author

Colleen

This is a blog where I will share my adventures and mundane tasks as a work-out-of-home-mom. I now have 2 kids and my wonderful husband, so the juggling has gotten a little bit more tricky (man-on-man defense). We also have 2 dogs and 3 cats (we used to have 4) so as you can imagine, our household is pretty busy. Since I never feel like I'm being listened to, I figured I'll just start talking at the general Internet community and see what happens.

16 Comments

Tranny Head

DUDE – I totally remember when I was a kid and my mom would be naked in front of me and I’d be all grossed out. But I swear I was like 10. She always wore (and still does!) these weird under-arm things she calls “shields” because she claims she sweats like a horse. They’re weird and water-absorbent and she claims she wears them so she doesn’t sweat on her clothes. To which I have always said, “Um – you DO have a laundry machine, right?” I have no idea when I saw this nakedness, of course, but I was definitely older than Gavin.

Oh, and please tell me you saw this: http://wheresmycape.blogspot.com/2008/04/calling-all-butt-names.html

If you haven’t read it yet, it’ll make your day.

VDog

Kid’s still on mah tit, so we’re not there yet.

I’m jealous of your big beautiful belly. 😀

*Seeing parents naked -GAAHHHH!* lol

precarious tomato

My mom STILL runs around nekkid in front of me. And I really wish she’d have quit when I was three.

Or thirteen.

Or thirty.

LaskiGal

So, he’s only 9 months. I swear sometimes he gives me funny looks . . . oh, so much to look forward to. Great. More fun.

Flea

I’m the modest type, really, so I was always wary of the kids seeing me naked. I’m sure they did. Maybe I’ve blocked it out of my mind. Yeah. They can talk to their therapists about it one day, as long as they don’t talk to me about it. 🙂

jen

I also have 2 incidents. One was a year ago and Holden pointed to my chest and said “that’s your nipple.” It was an innocent observation since not long before he had pointed to his own nipples and asked what they were called. So, since he had just learned the body part, I brushed off the comment and made a mental note to get my shirt on quicker.

The second incident was more recent though. Apparently, Holden learned the term “booty” at daycare from some of the other kids this year. A month or two ago he came into the bathroom while I was showering and said “I see your booty” and I just turned around and said “OUT!” When your 4 yr old calls your butt a “booty” then it’s time for them to stay out.

Marti

Bean loves to point at my boobies and scream BOOBIES. Then he tells me that he wants a set.
He has asked where my peepee went and I told him girls are just different.
Loads of thrills.

Jesse

Ha!!! No, I just try to stay the heck away from my boys. Bathroom door locked, only shower late at night or early in the morning, etc. Yesterday my little one hugged me from behind, and it pulled the hem of my shirt up and he was baffled to find “ninja words” on my back. They’re kanji tattoos, but anyway. He excitedly went to tell his dad and brother that momma is a secret ninja. *sigh*

jen

Holden has asked where our (female) dog’s “dingle dangle” was. I just said she has a hole instead; I couldn’t bring myself to explain “girl parts” yet.

Burgh Baby

You have conjured up childhood nightmares of my mother always sleeping without any underwear. Thanks a lot for that.

Anglophile Football Fanatic

The first post I did about this was the end of our bubble baths together. He goosed me and said “Pop the pp” which is what we always said when we popped his little circ out. Lovely? Then a few weeks ago, he just randomly grabbed me while I was putting him in his car seat.

Madame Queen

I stopped being naked in front of Bubba probably about 2 years ago, but mostly because Mr. Daddy felt it was time for me to stop. Punkin is currently “in love” with my boobies and loves to talk about how hers are small and mine are “BIIIGGG!” Usually this topic comes up at the most inappropriate times — like church!

dana

We don’t have a bathtub so I have to bring Dawson (he’s 3) into the shower with me sometimes. Once he pointed at my crotch and said, “Mommy, what is that?” Testing him, I asked, “What do you think that is?” and he replied, “I think it’s itchy.”

I laughed so hard I swear I peed.

Dawn

Oh mah gawd! I about died laughing reading that!

My 3 year old daughter is constantly asking questions. She was in the tub one day and I had to go to the bathroom and it was that *special* time of the month when I needed a tampon. Daelyn promptly asked what I was doing. And all the answers I was giving here were not pacifying her curiosity. So finally I said “A tampon is like a band-aid for your vagina!”

She has never asked another question about that again.

caramama

This nakedness and explaining stuff is going to be tough, isn’t it? Um, I’m just not going to think about it yet. Thankfully, I’ve got time!

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