This morning it took me 8 minutes of Wrestling a Whiney, Tantruming Toddler in order to brush his Teeth.
(I almost called him a Two year old, but uh, at the rate he’s going, he may not make it till Sunday.)
I lost my Temper about 8 times this morning, too, due to said Toddler and his Whiney Why-Why-Why older brother (seriously, why does he have to question every single thing I say to him?). I was seriously at the very tippity-toppity end of my rope. All of this before 8 a.m.
It also took me eight tries to spit out a coherant sentence when I dropped the kids off at daycare this morning, too. That is not an exaggeration.
I’m glad I already had an appointment scheduled today with my doctor about my ever-progressing insomnia, or sleep disturbances, as he called it. Which is probably a better name and/or description for it. I also learned a few other fun things while at my appointment, like the term “situational stress” to describe my physical, emotional, and psychological response to Justin’s work schedule, or that my diastolic blood pressure reading has gone up from an average of 60 to nearly 80. I realize that 80 is still within “normal” range, but when your normal has jumped up 33%, it’s still not very good. But I was reassured that most likely it was due to feeling the strain of managing so much on my own and not getting adequate sleep.
So he gave me a low-dose tricyclic antidepressant to help me fall asleep sooner and stay asleep better. He promised that it was non-habit forming, is mild, and is well-tolerated. He said if I still feel groggy in the morning, to just take it a little earlier in the evening so that less of it is in my system by morning. The bonus to this is maybe that it might take off the edge to my anxiety, something that I missed dearly from back when I was on a cocktail of drugs to proactively combat my chronic migraines several years ago. My neurologist back then had me on a low-dose of the antidepressant nortriptyline and a low-dose of the beta-blocker Inderal, which successfully prevented migraines, and I noticed at the time that I felt more balanced–less anxious. So I’m kind of looking forward to a little more sleep, a little less screamy-crazy mom (uh, that would be me), so that I can better manage my kids, my job, and my life.