13 things I never thought I’d hear/say/experience as a mother

  1. ask, “who peed on the floor?” and actually get a confession
  2. fight desperately with my three year old over MY boots  
    Gavin and the Boots

  3. be eating a sandwich, smell diaper ointment (i.e. Desitin or A&D), and realize that I completely forgot to wash my hands after changing a diaper…and waiting to finish my sandwich to actually wash my hands
  4. be excited to just stay home on a Saturday night and watch movies
  5. become the Laundry Goddess who can remove any stain, known and unknown (and some I wish I didn’t know)
  6. NOT get sick when my children puke, or when it gets on me or my clothes, or I have to clean it off the floor or out of the carpet (although I still get sympathy sick whenever any other person gets a stomach bug and is puking)
  7. be up to my elbows in my children’s diarrhea-filled diaper, scooping out poop with a plastic spoon into several small vials, and delivering the prepared poop to the pediatrician without batting an eye (although I did gag once or twice…gross!)
  8. hear my three year old announce to everyone in our house after he had a potty accident that he’s going upstairs to get rid of “yucky Elmo”, and then showing off his “clean Diego pants”, while striking a pose that consists of him sticking his butt out at an exaggerated angle to showcase the Diego design on the butt of his undies.
  9. the sloppiest kisses–and lovin’ every one of them
  10. getting a fat lip from baby head-butts on a weekly basis (hey, I can only dodge so many of the head-butts I get!)
  11. never thought I’d get so many bodily fluids on me that weren’t my own
  12. having two healthy boys (not sure what I expected, but certainly didn’t ever dream of having two little boys)
  13. being so uncontrollably in love with my kids

(think they look alike?…first one is Gavin, second one is Cooper)

Gavin Exersaucer

Cooper Exersaucer

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About the Author

Colleen

This is a blog where I will share my adventures and mundane tasks as a work-out-of-home-mom. I now have 2 kids and my wonderful husband, so the juggling has gotten a little bit more tricky (man-on-man defense). We also have 2 dogs and 3 cats (we used to have 4) so as you can imagine, our household is pretty busy. Since I never feel like I'm being listened to, I figured I'll just start talking at the general Internet community and see what happens.

11 Comments

Comedy Plus

Yep, these are all things I remember as well. Very well done. Thanks for the walk down memeory lane. Have a great TT. 🙂

jen

I noticed the striking similarity when I compared photos of them both wearing the skunk costume.

Burgh Baby's Mom

Amen to that list. There’s a few that I’ve been fortunate enough to dodge, but “a few” is not nearly enough. i wish I could have dodged all 13.

You could tell me that was the exact same little boy in both pictures and I would 100% believe you. Amazing!

damozel

Love the little man in the fine boots.

Baby head butts, ha. Part of being a mom is hearing yourself say things you never imagined would come out of your mouth and learning to regard the bodily fluids of others as your own…

Madame Queen

I hear ya sister! I wrote a post not that long ago about how surprised I am that I handle the throwing up so well.

#1 and #8 really cracked me up. Punkin is just starting pull ups and we have a devil of a time getting her to put clothes on over her sainted Ariel!

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