Heard ‘Round the Wine Please Household

The following has been overheard in my house:

  • Please don’t poop on Mama.
  • We do not hang the letter C on our weiner.
  • Who farted?
  • Why do we have a bunch of condemns on the kitchen counter?
  • The Jonas Brothers made me late.
  • Should the feta smell like bleu?
  • Whoooo’s being a baby?
  • I’m done with my poopbrush! (this was heard at about 6:30am)
  • I don’t wanna wipe my butt!

About the Author

Colleen

This is a blog where I will share my adventures and mundane tasks as a work-out-of-home-mom. I now have 2 kids and my wonderful husband, so the juggling has gotten a little bit more tricky (man-on-man defense). We also have 2 dogs and 3 cats (we used to have 4) so as you can imagine, our household is pretty busy. Since I never feel like I'm being listened to, I figured I'll just start talking at the general Internet community and see what happens.

15 Comments

Kait

I hope that the poopbrush one was an imagination thing, and not “oh look, poo all over the place”!! Yikes!

Also: Sippy cup nozzles/nipples in wrappers – HILARIOUS! It took me a minute to figure out what they were!

Karen

Life with kids changes everything forever in so many unimaginable ways.

But what ARE condoms doing on your counter?!

caramama

It’s amazing the things that come out of our mouths once we have kids. My hubby’s favorite odd thing he’s said was, “Dogs are not for sitting.”

And just late this morning, I said, “I thought I wouldn’t get peed on by this age.” Good times!

Roger

Pooping on Momma is always a bad thing.:) Daddy too for that matter.

How the heck did the Jonas brothers make you late? Your boys aren’t even old enough…

Nicole

I cannot tell you how relieved I am to learn that my kid is not the only one out there FASCINATED with using his penis as a hook! The word penis leaves my mouth more times a day than I could have ever imagined it would. Oh, the things they conveinently leave out of the parenting books!

Colleen - Mommy Always Wins

Heard in the Mommy Wins household this past week:

I don’t CARE if your the freakin’ POPE, sit at that table and EAT YOUR LUNCH NOW!!!

Yes, I realize I’m going straight to hell…

Marti

Kay, I am WAY behind. Damn moving.
But I am intrigues by the poopbrush and amount of safe sex someone is having…

yes I know they are bottle liners but it is still funny.

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