I cannot believe how tired I am. Of a lot of things. Seemingly everything.
- I’m tired of driving all over Creation to bring my kids to daycare so that I can drive even further to work each day.
- I’m tired of fighting my kids each morning to get out of the house, just to sit in the car for over an hour, so I can sit at work, then get back in the car for a 90-minute ride home at the end of the day.
- I’m tired of getting home so late that I am stuck making really crappy meals in 15 min or less so that I have a chance of having food on the table by 7pm.
- I’m tired of coming home after all day at work just so that as soon as the kids are in bed, I’m stuck working again on whatever day seems to suit the people who aren’t even involved in the work…whether it be one day a week or 4 days a week–they don’t seem to care that I have other responsibilities in my life outside of jumping through their last-minute hoops. Nor do they care that I have such very little time that actually belongs to me.
- I’m tired of my house looking like crap day-in-and-day-out because I’m stuck working in the evenings instead of being able to straighten-up my house.
- I’m tired of my husband being gone for a week at a time every other week. I miss him and the kids miss him.
- I’m tired of Gavin arguing with me; tired of him not “wanting” me and only wanting his father, even when there’s nothing I can do to bring his daddy home each night (due to Justin’s constant training schedule).
- I’m tired of Cooper throwing complete tantrums because he wants something to eat other than I’m offering at that time (that child has one nasty temper!).
- I’m tired of feeling rushed all the time: rushed to the ENT, rushed to work, rushed to Speech Therapy, rushed to get dinner on the table, just rushed, rushed rushed.
- I’m tired of being the only one taking the kids to all their appointments because I worry how it affects my job that I desparately need, and FMLA only covers so much (and doesn’t pay a dime).
- I’m tired of looking at my paystub each payday and wondering where the money is going and why we don’t have any leftover to save.
- I’m tired of trying to get my business back up on its feet–it never seemed to have recovered after Cooper was born since that’s when the cost of living skyrocketed and people’s mortgages jumped through the roof, leaving them with no money to spend on anything besides necessities.
- I’m tired of worrying how hard the billing departments of the people associated with Cooper’s surgery are going to laugh when I tell them I need to set up payment arrangements that will keep me indebted to them for probably at least a year.
- I’m tired of looking at my two options for health coverage for 2009 and wondering if I should allow myself to be wooed again by the cheaper premiums of the PPO and risk not having another outpatient procedure or ER visit that would cause us to be stuck making payments to cover their wretched deductible (which got worse since last year)? Or do I fall for the relative safety of the EPN that’s going to cost more than twice as much per month in premiums, but will cover nearly any medical situation we find ourselves?
- I’m tired of wondering how the company I work for can continually allow themselves to be financially bullied by the union, and tired of wondering how much longer the management is going to take the job cuts, the pay cuts, and the benefit cuts, all while the unionized employees get guaranteed pay raises and free health coverage for themselves and at least three dependents.
- I’m tired of taking a day off work for myself only to find all hell broke loose, leaving me with a mess and feeling as if I can’t take time off.
- I’m tired of taking time for myself to do something fun, only to come home to all these worries and frustrations.
- I’m tired of this that just decided after 6 peaceful, regular months to cause problems again and send me into another tizzy trying to find a product that WILL work.
- I’m tired of feeling like I can never make anyone happy, that I can’t just get ahead of things.
- I’m tired of being sleep deprived–partly because I can’t seem to fall asleep until well after midnight each night, and partly because I can’t seem to sleep soundly during the night.
Actually, I’m not even sure the word “tired” covers it; neither does “exhausted”. I think “done” would more adequately describe it.
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