Fun with Hormones and Bellies

After a nice vacation from my hormones, where I had nice skin, relatively low amounts of heartburn, was tolerating nearly every type of food, and was feeling pretty chipper.
Then about three weeks ago, all hormone hell broke loose. Heartburn is threatening to burn all the way up to the bottom of my eyeballs; my skin is getting temperamental; most beef is off the menu (again), and in fact, I feel like I’m having some sort of cardiac event after nearly every meal. And? I’ve turned into a Psycho Mama with an itchy trigger-finger. Or itchy cry-trigger. My kids would rather ride in their daddy’s truck, and it makes me burst into tears. My husband makes a remark comparing my current style of laughter with that of an imaginary fat guy in a red outfit that smells like reindeer farts, and I want to choke him with his iPhone cord. I even went to an expert like a mental health therapist since I was feeling depressed. A certain, unnamed extended family member sends me an email full of blantant, bold-faced lies (or maybe this person is just ridiculously deluded), and I feel like putting polls here and on Facebook to find out how many other folks remember things exactly like I do. Because it would be hilarious to see all the people respond. But I digress.
So you get that I’m feeling a bit off-kilter as of late, and besides having a racing pulse pounding in me ears after every snack or meal (which makes me dizzy, too, just for kicks), I’m feeling pretty healthy. I’m eating better (healthier) than I have with any of my previous pregnancies, no swelling (yet) or water retention, I actually passed my 1-hour glucose screening (that in itself is a miracle), and due to my visits to the chiropractor, my sciatica and other back-pain has been kept in-check. My only real concern at this point is my weight gain. With both Gavin and Cooper, I had gained a total of 37 pounds each. This time, I’ve already gained 30 and still have about ten weeks left to go. In fact, the weight came on so fast that I didn’t believe my bathroom scale. So much so that I thought it was going bad and bought a new scale….which gave me the same feedback, except in much larger and digital numbers. So then I blamed it on the fact that I hadn’t pooped in two-and-a-half days. After a few hours, a large bowl of frosted shredded wheat, and a trip to the bathroom, I only lost about two pounds.

About three weeks ago (26 weeks and 6 days)

Now, my belly is sticking out the bottom of my shirts and I’m pulling out maternity clothes that I typically don’t wear until the last month or so. Except that I’ve got more than two months to go.

Earlier today (29 weeks 5 days)

Note the maternity shirt struggling to cover maternity belly, the under-belly pants with their strangle hold on my abdomen, all necessitating the maternity support tank-top to prevent random, unplanned flashes of maternity butt and belly. And making this sweaty pregnant woman hotter. I’m thinking that maybe a mu-mu might be ideal at this point.

About the Author


This is a blog where I will share my adventures and mundane tasks as a work-out-of-home-mom. I now have 2 kids and my wonderful husband, so the juggling has gotten a little bit more tricky (man-on-man defense). We also have 2 dogs and 3 cats (we used to have 4) so as you can imagine, our household is pretty busy. Since I never feel like I'm being listened to, I figured I'll just start talking at the general Internet community and see what happens.



Colleen, you are so cute! Hang in there girlfriend!!!! A MuMu might be really comfy and oh so stylish. 🙂


You are too cute!!!! That is so funny. I had the same problem with my #3. We went on a trip when I was about 22 weeks and everyone I met thought I surely was due any day. I was starting to really get a complex!


Oh, C, you have my sympathy. Because of our lack of vertical, there is nowhere for a baby to go but out. But dang, girl. How are you going to reach the table with another 10 weeks to go? 😉

And Gaviscon is da bomb. Drink it like water.


That is an amazing belly! You’re carrying so differently than me…I’m much higher up


You’re adorable! Don’t worry about the weight gain if you’re eating well and not retaining water. Keep hitting the shredded week and all will be fine. Nothing says, “I give up” more than a mumu. Hit up Justing for some clothes. 😉


For what it’s worth, that looks like a regular t-shirt – I was wearing tents on top. The cute maternity stuff just didn’t work for my belly (I carried just like you – straight out – which is odd since I’m 5’9″). I had to go up a size in maternity and buy the really flowy shirts to accomodate the belly.

Funny though, how a pregnancy can chagne your view. Pre-pregnancy, I would have had mad belly envy and gushed how stinkin cute you look (which you do, btw). Now? I mostly feel sympathy. I think of the getting comfortable in bed, the strain on the back, and just want to come hold your belly for you for awhile to give you some relief. 🙂


I know EXACTLY what’s going on here. He’s standing sideways in there! Don’t worry, you’ll be back to your awesome normal shape soon 🙂

Karen MEG

Whoa, you’ve popped! It’s just cuz you’re so tiny that your belly looks so big…you’re all baby though!

I gained 45 with the girl – and I leaned like that famous Tower in Pisa – I kid you not!

I hope you’re doing well, Colleen. I’ve been missing the internets lately, and just sorta getting caught up…

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