I had my 38 week check-up yesterday and was convinced that even though I was STILL not contracting regularly, and the contractions were STILL not increasing in intensity, and that my water STILL had not broken, that my cervix was at least dilating. And I had partially convinced myself that if I was far enough along, my doctor would take pity on me and send me to the hospital with an appointment with Ye Olde Wicked-Huge Crochet Hook. Or maybe it’s called Ye Olde Wicked-Huge Orange Peeler. I dunno, but it’s wicked-huge and does a great job of breaking one’s water and getting one’s labor kick-started.
But, alas, no. She smiled benignly at me as she said “girl! I can’t believe you are STILL walking around here with that baby at 6 cm dilated!” and then rambled on about how I’d need to wait till next week before I can receive the Blessed Needle of Pitocin, as I am still lucky enough to not have any medical reasons to induce prior to the Sacred Week of 39. I shall not stop counting at 38 unless it is to be followed by 39 (can you tell I’m channeling my inner Monty Python?).
Obviously, should my system GET A CLUE and go into labor on its own, they will obviously not stop anything. My gripe is that if I wait much longer with these wimpy, non-regulated, yet somewhat effective contractions, that by the time my water breaks or I get to next week, I will be so freakin’ dilated that they will tell His Eminence, the Anesthesiologist, to withhold the Holy Epidural and I will be forced to birth a now 8-pound bruiser without the benefit of pain meds to keep me calm and keep me from screaming like a woman possessed.
So. I have a new-found motivation to get my house clean. It helps that I am at working from home and have instantly gained 12-15 hours a week just by not commuting. It helps that Justin arrived safe, but exhausted, Friday evening from a whirlwind 29-hour series of flights from Noorvik to Kotzebue to Nome to Anchorage to Seattle to DC. It also helps that the only real, bonafide contraction aggravator I seem to have in my arsenal is heightened activity. So since it is well in the mid-80’s outside (too hot for me to walk), I have cleaned two bathrooms, and have a fairly sizable list of additional items to take a shot at in order to egg-on my system to do what it was built do to…cuz folks, waddling around 6cm dilated HURTS! All those muscles and ligaments and bony structures are all moving apart like the freakin’ Red Sea all while supporting an ever-growing baby. While Baby Center had estimated my kiddo last week to be an average of 6 or 6-1/2 pounds (and not much heavier this week), the LDR nurse that took care of me on Friday thought he looked to be close to 7 or 7-1/4 pounds…and since I already have a history of big babies, and she has helped deliver hundreds, or maybe even thousands of babies in her career, I lean a little bit more towards her estimate. So bring on the housework! Maybe we’ll finally be able to bring on a baby!