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Smooshfaced Symphony of Snoring

After I spent way too long reading and commenting on blogs last night (darn you, you prolific blog writers…can hardly keep up with my uncontrollable urge to comment), I got to bed a little later than I wanted.  As I’m trying to doze off, I hear Ginger snoring softly…slightly annoying, but her snores are very quiet for a Boston Terrier and are easy to block out.

About two minutes later, Maggie starts snoring.  Now her snores are much louder and I have never been able to fall asleep to her snoring…in fact, I’d swear she was 30lbs larger because of how loud she can snore.  I’m annoyed because I can’t reach her with my foot to give her a good nudge.  And I’m annoyed because her snores are alternating with Ginger’s…

SNOOOOOORRREEE GURGLE SNORT

snooooorrreeee grumbly snort

SNOOOOOORRREEE GURGLE SNORT

snooooorrreeee grumbly snort

Then, for lots of fun and my utter enjoyment, Justin* starts in.  But his snore is a weird syncopated rhythm, presumably due to his allergies, or his innate and uncontrollable desire to drive me crazy, even while he’s unconscious.  And I can’t sleep through his snores either, since they’re RIGHT IN MY EAR!

SNOOOOOORRREEE GURGLE SNORT

snoooorrrreee                             sNOOOOORRRrrrtt 

snooooorrreeee grumbly snort

snoooorrrreee                             sNOOOOORRRrrrtt  snoooorrrreee

SNOOOOOORRREEE GURGLE SNORT

snooooorrreeee grumbly snort

snoooorrrreee                             sNOOOOORRRrrrtt 

And just when I thought I finally dozed off, Cooper squawks in his sleep, which jars me awake.  Dogs and Justin?  Still snoring.  And I should’ve known that just because Cooper has been sleeping through the night for about a week (now that he’s mostly over his cold), that he feels compelled to shake things up and starts fussing at 5am.  I stumble in there, sneak around the head of his crib so he can’t see me and sliiide that binky in his mouth.  He quiets down and I go back to bed, where Maggie has stolen my spot.  I shove her over and climb back into bed.  Forty minutes later that child is up crying again.  I wait…but when he starts shrieking I get up and go back in there.  I rock him in the chair and he gets MAD!…screams louder, and I’m sure if he could speak, it would be something along the lines of “DEAR GOD, WOMAN!  I’M STARVING!  GIMME FOOD!!!!!!!”  Not wanting to wake up Gavin, I give in and feed him (don’t care if Justin wakes up, since he’s gotten up with Cooper TWICE in his life.  Okay…maybe three times).  Once he’s fed and passed out, I stumble back to bed, see that it’s already 6:15am and jump in the shower.  I haven’t been up and showering that early in the morning in a while…figure I might actually get out of the house early for a change.

 Yeah, I was wrong.

  

*to be fair, Justin doesn’t have a smooshed face like my dogs, well, except when it’s smooshed in the pillow

About the Author

Colleen

This is a blog where I will share my adventures and mundane tasks as a work-out-of-home-mom. I now have 2 kids and my wonderful husband, so the juggling has gotten a little bit more tricky (man-on-man defense). We also have 2 dogs and 3 cats (we used to have 4) so as you can imagine, our household is pretty busy. Since I never feel like I'm being listened to, I figured I'll just start talking at the general Internet community and see what happens.

6 Comments

Karen

I hate nights like those. I do NOT miss babyhood and all the sleepless nights.

Staying up late blogging is just plain my fault.

Reply
Leanne

I stay up and comment way too late as well. Oh, as for the snoring this is why we have guest rooms, with doors that close! 🙂

Reply
Robyn

LOL…Loved this post….I peed myself laughing….

I am wondering though if my husband outsnores your whole crew……

Reply
Burgh Baby's Mom

I feel your pain in so, so many ways. Really, you can’t imagine. The Bulldog snores so loud that it actually sounds like a Harley is rumbling in the house (it’s that smushed face thing) and when the husband joins in, it’s not pretty. At all.

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