Alright, on this, my birthday eve, I have yet another parenting question for all you fine folks out there.
I have a friend of mine whose husband will be undergoing The Big Snip soon. Her seven year old daughter asked why her daddy was going into surgery and my poor gentle friend was completely at a loss of words, but had the where-with-all to tell her, “we’ll discuss it while we’re waiting for Daddy while he’s in surgery”, which is buying her several days of time to come up with an answer. I am still at a loss of words, myself, and as most of you know, there’s not too much out there that renders me speechless. Unfortunately, her daughter is too old for a one-line simplistic answer, and understandably, she doesn’t want to lie to her, either. So what would you do? What would you say? How would you explain to your daughters (my friend has a 3 year old daughter as well), why Daddy has a bag of frozen peas on his lap? Anyone?
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9 Comments
Happy (early) birthday! Other than that, I got nothing. Seven is old enough to know, but yet not old enough to know. You know?
I was 7 when my dad had one and I have almost no memory of it at all (and I was an inquisitive kid). I’m sure my mom told me daddy was going to the doctor and we’d need to be gentle with him… or something like that. In a way, saying you’ll tell her later builds it up more and gives her more time to think about it and get excited for “The Explanation”.
I’d say be honest and brief and as long as there’s some new toy or book to entertain herself with in the waiting room, her daughter will probably accept it with a shrug.
Maybe something like “Daddy needs to have his vas deferens clipped” and just leave it at that?
I admit, I’m still speechless.
If you’re a Christian you might read this for future discussions to discourage this from taking place:
http://www.armyofgod.com/tubal_ligation.html
hmmm…well, I do appreciate the other side of the coin, but I’m not about to tell my friend her bedroom business.
And really, they are already expecting their third child. There’s something to be said to understand your limits. You want to make sure you can emotionally handle more children; financially handle more children (including being able to feed and clothe them). And if you can’t, then I can’t help but go with the argument that it’s better to prevent than murder. Look at Andrea Yates and what she did to her own 5 babies. That’s an extreme example, but she killed those innocent children, which when you get down to it, is the same as those abortions that are linked on the bottom of the article provided. God gave us the knowledge–I truly believe if science can help prevent unwanted babies, then it should be used!
Plus, what about all the babies born to couples who are using birth control, including more “permanent” methods? If God wants someone to have a baby, He will give them a baby.
Oh wow . . . a tough one. I just got sidetracked by Julian’s story from the other day. I read about him some time ago and am so saddened to hear about this. I’m a total sap now that I have a baby of my own. I was bad before, now I’m far, far worse. God bless his family and his mother–I simply can’t imagine.
Anyway, I so need to get my mind on something else. What could you say to the little one? I’m guessing that at 7, maybe she doesn’t need to know the details just yet. Yeech . . . let us know what she decides to say. I’m curious.
Oh geez! I have no clue what I would say…good luck helping with that one!
Happy Birthday!!
Um, as for your friend’s dilemma, I have no idea. I’ll have to think on this one!
Happy Birthday Eve! (Because I may forget tomorrow and it’s better early than never.)
That’s a bugger of a thing, isn’t it? “Daddy needs surgery on his private parts” is just asking her to go blab it to all the world.