Okay…just to warn everyone, I really will be talking about the bathroom, and what folks do in the bathroom. I know many of you are in denial about body functions (I know I was), but well, I just need to get this off my chest. So if you’re squeamish, um, go away and check back in a day or two.
I have a problem with some of the ladies that use the same ladies room as me at work. We have 5 standard and 1 handicapped stall. Now, prior to ever having children, I was like Finch from “American Pie”: there was NO WAY that I was going to go #2 in any bathroom besides my own. In fact, I didn’t even admit to anyone that I went poop, or had any idea of where poop came from.
But then I got pregnant, and as most of you moms know, all that fiber and such just moves through you, and with a munchkin hanging from your ribs and leaning on your bowels, there was no way I could wait several hours to go home to drop a deuce in peace and privacy. After I had each of my kids, I realized that there was no going back to my old ways; not just because I was eating better, but also because after birthin’ two large babies, those butt muscles just aren’t what they used to be. I’m sure I’ll need Depends by the time I’m 50. But in the meantime, if I need to go poop while at work, I go down to the last regular stall next to the handicapped one so that I’m the farthest from the common areas of the bathroom (sinks, towels, door). It never fails, though, that someone will come into the bathroom, where I am the only patron and will go into the stall right next to me. Yes, they will pass up some three perfectly good, possibly less odorous, stalls just to do their own business next to me. I have NEVER worked in a building or been in any other public bathroom setting where when there’s only a few ladies in a large bathroom that they go in adjacent stalls unless they’re friends going there together.I also love when a lady is leaving the restroom and instead of just opening the doors and leaving nicely, they use the handicapped button to automatically open and HOLD OPEN both doors. No one walking by would see anything besides women at the sink, but it still BUGS me to no end.What doesn’t bug me is NOT using the crinkly sani-seat covers. I never mastered those things, and when I found out that I was a trillion times more likely to pick up some nasty disease from the handle/lock of the stall door than from the seat, I gave up on them. However…weird, lazy-need-to-use-the-handicapped-doors girl once gave me a look for not grabbing a sani-seat cover on my way into a stall. Conversely, each of the women I caught crowding my pooping space did not use a sani-seat cover, either.
Thankfully, any lady I’ve encountered in the washroom has washed her hands, which I guess is the really important thing.
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