Who Wants a Kaopectate Shake?

Or

Who Swapped my Lipton for Some Colon Cleanse Tea?

No seriously. Who swapped out my tea? Cuz while I am glad I’m not constipated, this is not any better. I’m also starting to wonder if I just have one big mega virus making its way through all my major body systems, seeing that I already had a sinus thing, a long-winded sore throat thing, the pink-eye thing (which I think was viral and not bacterial cuz those drops didn’t seem to do much besides make me gag from them running through my eye sockets into the back of my throat), then had a chest cold (from which Cooper and I are still recuperating), and now this. I was going to ask “what’s next” but thought better of tempting Fate or Divine Providence or the Bad Times Virus.

And to top things off, when this whole thing first started late yesterday afternoon and I was busy managing my lower GI in the ladies room at work, I had not one, but TWO ladies come into the otherwise empty bathroom and select the stall next to me (one right after the other). When there were five other stalls to choose from (total side note, Crazy Lady 1 opted to use the washroom but NOT wash her hands afterwards…I think I know how I got my pink-eye…). I already have an issue with people selecting the stall next to me (or vice versa) when there are several unoccupied stalls available, but when you’re feeling like I was feeling, you need a little space and privacy…well, as much as you can get in a large office bathroom. Plus, I was shocked the smelliness hadn’t scared them away from that stall, although Crazy Lady 2 blew her nose while doing her business, so she might not’ve realized what she was getting into in selecting a stall next to gastro-intestinally distressed woman.

Thankfully the kids seemed to have been spared, for the most part. Cooper was lookin’ a little questionable, but it seems to have resolved itself, and Gavin seems alright, for now. I’m thinking that my kids’ obnoxious obsession with cultured dairy products (code word for “yogurt” amongst the adults in our house) has saved them from cramps, gas, countless bathroom runs, and drinking half a bottle of kaopectate, which has NEVER failed me before…oh wait…it expired 5 months ago…ooops.

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Alright…much less of a joking matter: click over to my ongoing online fundraiser for St. Jude Children’s Reseach Hospital. I know you’ve seen the ads on TV. I know they made you cry (those sweet bald heads remind me of Becky and her dancing hair and always make me cry). Please help these kids spend another Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Eid ul-Fitr, Yom Kippur, Easter, Summer Solstice, Festivus, or whatever, with their loved ones.

About the Author

Colleen

This is a blog where I will share my adventures and mundane tasks as a work-out-of-home-mom. I now have 2 kids and my wonderful husband, so the juggling has gotten a little bit more tricky (man-on-man defense). We also have 2 dogs and 3 cats (we used to have 4) so as you can imagine, our household is pretty busy. Since I never feel like I'm being listened to, I figured I'll just start talking at the general Internet community and see what happens.

13 Comments

swirl girl

Eeewww- I always get performance anxiety in public restrooms. And- the blowing your nose trick is a good way to avert others’ attention from the other sounds you may be eminating!

Krissa

Oh man, I hope (and will pray) that you are better soon. John called me from work today and it sounds like he is getting sick, too.
Tis the season? Well, that sucks.

calicobebop

Goodness, you’ve caught every bug on the East Coast! I hope you get to feeling better soon!

I have anxiety about the restrooms where I work – there are only two stalls in the one closest to my office! Usually I make the trip to the third floor and visit the “secret” ladies bathroom that always seems empty. If there is a generally unused bathroom in the building – I will find it! Because I’m wierd that way.

Jesse

You’ve seen the American Pie movie, right? Yeah, I have issues when it comes to using the bathroom away from home. And I am forever finding expired Rx in the house – but only adult stuff, and only when I desperately need it 🙁 Hope you feel better fast!!

Krissa

Indeed I had to do a follow up on this subject!
I got a text today from John, (who has diarrhea), and his chief joy so far this day is, “I had a dry fart!” I texted him back and BEGGED to be able to post about him, his illness and consequent diarrhea. No. He thought not. Oh well, it did bring to mind another funny diarrhea episode that was blog-worthy…
Feeling better yet?

Marti

Oh wow hun! I haven’t been on much so I have missed out on your ailments! I think you have had your fair share! Feel better.
And EW on the chick not washing her hands, that bugs me.

Nicole

Um, were you recently in Denver?! My husband says that the diarrhea is the direct result of the chest cold . . . all of the junk that you cough up and then accidently swallow (which is all of it in my case as the ol’ gag reflex is working overtime) runs through your gut and cleans it out. Swell. Let’s hope that if it is all working its way south on you the only thing left is a hangnail on your left foot . . . although at the rate you’re going, it is more likely to be an ingrown nail with a touch of gangrene.

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