I’d Rather Be Waterboarding

Not sure if it’s hit you northern folks yet, but Spring has sprung in the DC-area: the birds are singing and playing in my backyard, “our” mourning doves have returned, the hyacinths are scenting the air with their sweet fragrance, the apple blossoms are beginning to bud, and Ginger has already had her first tick of the season (thankfully didn’t share it with me). So with all these blooming plants and birds shaking up branches of blossoming trees and shrubs, the allergies are starting to kick in.

My allergies are generally pretty mild, and I’m still not sure that it’s allergies as much as maybe a cold that Cooper has shared with me. But either way, my sinuses are a mess. It seems back when I had my never-ending-sinus-congestion-from-hell last winter (literally, the entire winter), which spawned such fun as chronic pink eye and near-blinding sinus headaches, that it never really truly left my body–just went dormant for two months. Now that awful congestion and the headaches are back, so I’m forced to pull out the Big Guns:


NeilMed Sinus Rinse

NeilMed Sinus Rinse



I originally was going to get a neti pot, but this thing claimed to bigger and badder because it didn’t just rely on silly ol’ gravity to draw the snot out of your sinuses. Instead, this high-volume, low-pressure technique (read: squeezing a pint of water up each nostril), is way more efficient at blasting away stubborn snot and boogies trapped waaaay up in your sinuses.

So of course I got it.

And frankly, it works. It’s not sexy–I’m sure Justin was less than turned-on by walking in on his wife waterboarding herself, all that displaced snot running down my face as I leaned over the bathroom sink all Frankenstein-like. Of course, that’s not to mention the odd, low noise that I emit involuntarily while I perform this procedure on myself. But hey, I can breathe well enough to sleep without taking any decongestants before bed, which is a nice change since they tend to screw up my already poor sleeping patterns. It also seems to improve my sense of smell, which is great when I’m in the front yard near the aforementioned hyacinths; not so great when I’m sitting on the couch next to a gassy dog.

My favorite part, though? Is on the box where is says “Original and Patented”, like it’s some kind of inside nudge-nudge, wink-wink. Like they know that you know that they know that you know that they really weren’t all that original to con you into buying an old mustard bottle, some packets of salt to mix with warm water, and don’t actually have a patent.
For those of you who find that stuff funny–okay, the one of you who who found that funny–the inappropriate use of quotation marks are all over the box and booklet insert.

Okay, so maybe I’m the only dork laughing at the inappropriate use of quote marks. But regardless of their poor punctuation, it actually seems to help. Now if I could only convince Justin to try it, since his allergies are infinitely worse than mine and I’m desperate for a night of sleep without being interrupted by the snotty snorer.


About the Author

Colleen

This is a blog where I will share my adventures and mundane tasks as a work-out-of-home-mom. I now have 2 kids and my wonderful husband, so the juggling has gotten a little bit more tricky (man-on-man defense). We also have 2 dogs and 3 cats (we used to have 4) so as you can imagine, our household is pretty busy. Since I never feel like I'm being listened to, I figured I'll just start talking at the general Internet community and see what happens.

5 Comments

Wendy

I hear ya! I never had allergies or sinus problems until I moved to DC. And, I began using the Neti Pot when I was preggo and thought it best to not constantly take decongestants. I’ve never stopped using it. It works! And going a day without cleaning out my sinuses now is almost like going a day without a shower – I just feel unclean up there. 🙂 I could be like Billy Mays or Vince Offer (minus the prostitute beating, of course) for the Neti Pot.

jen

I had never heard of the Neti Pot until a couple of months ago and it just sounds awful to me! However, I don’t really have constant sinus/allergy issues anymore (thankfully) so, for serious sufferers, it’s probably worth it to get relief. I wouldn’t think it good to use everyday though because it seems like your body would become dependent on it and totally stop attempting to cleanse itself of the gunk on its own (kind of like with enemas/laxatives).

Nicole

The nurse at my PCPs office suggested this to me last week when I was in the throws of a nasty cold – now I wish I had taken her up on it . . . if nothing else to get a good laugh off of the box! I seriously read the packaging on every single product I buy just to catch the gramatical mistakes and to make fun of how hard they stand by their products! I am glad I am not alone, because it kind-of makes me feel like a dork. Which is not saying much, as almost everything I do makes me feel like a dork.

Wineplz

Wendy, I squishy-heart those two guys! I will buy anything they sell because they are so! freakin’! excited! about the product.

Jen, no known physical dependencies as it is just an ionic solution (similar to saline sol’n) flushed through the nasal and sinus passages to help relieve congestion and inflamation (the salt in the sol’n helps contract the inflamed tissues). Everything I’ve read (various ENTs, etc.) states that it is safe to use up to 2-3 times per day, it is complementary to cold/allergy meds, and/or by itself if you can’t take meds for relief.

Nicole, you and me will be a couple’a big (grammar) dorks together. 😀

Michele

That thing works wonders. They make neti pots for little ones – I tried it on my 4 yo daughter without much success.

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