Not sure if it’s hit you northern folks yet, but Spring has sprung in the DC-area: the birds are singing and playing in my backyard, “our” mourning doves have returned, the hyacinths are scenting the air with their sweet fragrance, the apple blossoms are beginning to bud, and Ginger has already had her first tick of the season (thankfully didn’t share it with me). So with all these blooming plants and birds shaking up branches of blossoming trees and shrubs, the allergies are starting to kick in.
My allergies are generally pretty mild, and I’m still not sure that it’s allergies as much as maybe a cold that Cooper has shared with me. But either way, my sinuses are a mess. It seems back when I had my never-ending-sinus-congestion-from-hell last winter (literally, the entire winter), which spawned such fun as chronic pink eye and near-blinding sinus headaches, that it never really truly left my body–just went dormant for two months. Now that awful congestion and the headaches are back, so I’m forced to pull out the Big Guns:
I originally was going to get a neti pot, but this thing claimed to bigger and badder because it didn’t just rely on silly ol’ gravity to draw the snot out of your sinuses. Instead, this high-volume, low-pressure technique (read: squeezing a pint of water up each nostril), is way more efficient at blasting away stubborn snot and boogies trapped waaaay up in your sinuses.
So of course I got it.
And frankly, it works. It’s not sexy–I’m sure Justin was less than turned-on by walking in on his wife waterboarding herself, all that displaced snot running down my face as I leaned over the bathroom sink all Frankenstein-like. Of course, that’s not to mention the odd, low noise that I emit involuntarily while I perform this procedure on myself. But hey, I can breathe well enough to sleep without taking any decongestants before bed, which is a nice change since they tend to screw up my already poor sleeping patterns. It also seems to improve my sense of smell, which is great when I’m in the front yard near the aforementioned hyacinths; not so great when I’m sitting on the couch next to a gassy dog.
My favorite part, though? Is on the box where is says “Original and Patented”, like it’s some kind of inside nudge-nudge, wink-wink. Like they know that you know that they know that you know that they really weren’t all that original to con you into buying an old mustard bottle, some packets of salt to mix with warm water, and don’t actually have a patent.
For those of you who find that stuff funny–okay, the one of you who who found that funny–the inappropriate use of quotation marks are all over the box and booklet insert.
Okay, so maybe I’m the only dork laughing at the inappropriate use of quote marks. But regardless of their poor punctuation, it actually seems to help. Now if I could only convince Justin to try it, since his allergies are infinitely worse than mine and I’m desperate for a night of sleep without being interrupted by the snotty snorer.
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